Conference call

Went to a conference this week – Sunday-Tuesday in Memphis – and the girls stayed here in Cookeville. It was good, having a chance to be away for two days. I still didn’t sleep very well, but I think that’s just a stage I am in right now. The girls did great (Zoe did better for Sherri than she does for me – maybe I should go out of town more often), so no worries there. And I think this short trip will make it easier for me to go to later conferences that are longer and further away.

Had a really bad moment on the trip, though. I had finished my sessions for the afternoon around 4:30, with nothing left to do before dinner at 6:30. As I walked out of the conference center to cross the street to my hotel, I pulled out my phone and started to call Michell. You see, that’s what I always did at conferences – when I got a break, I called Michell. It was always so good to talk with her.

As I stared at the phone, the reality of her death came crashing in again. It was all I could do to keep from just dropping to the ground. I cried as I walked back to my hotel room, and kept crying when I got there. I miss her so much.

Later that evening at dinner, I saw a few attendees who had brought their families along. That was our plan, too. When the girls were old enough, they would all come along – or, sometimes we would find places for them to stay so that Michell and I could go together. Now, neither can happen. I can’t take the girls, because I can’t watch them during the conference, and Michell isn’t here to go with me anymore.

Going to conferences is part of my job – a part I usually enjoy. Overall, this one was ok, and I hope that in the future I am able to enjoy them more fully. My next on is in July, and it’s usually a very good conference. And God will help me – I know He will.