Three strands...

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (New International Version)

Life has taken on a new joy recently. You would think the opposite, after recent events. For those who've not been following along, the past 18 months have not been the kind of journey that you would expect to come out of with great joy. My wife passed away (Dec 2007), I had emergency surgery for a ruptured colon (Nov 2008), I had a follow-up surgery (Mar 2009), and then a surprise additional surgery to remove my gall bladder (Apr 2009).

What then, is the difference? How have I been able to not only survive grief, pain, and life on the "DL" (disabled list)? No doubt in my mind, the answer is God. He has carried me, sheltered me, comforted me, and lifted me up. The glory goes to Him and Him alone, because without Him, I would probably be a tangled wreck.

So what's happened here recently to allow my joy to become more complete? Two words: three strands. Ok, maybe I need more than two words to help you understand. So let's try a paragraph or two...

The verse at the top of the post is frequently used to talk about the strength that comes in a Godly marriage - the three strands are God, husband, and wife. When fully united, this trio becomes an unshakable, unstoppable force. But I'm not married anymore... so at best I'm back to two strands, right?

In a word, no. God's plan is always big enough - bigger than the Devil's attempts to mess it up. It's true, I don't have a wife - no constant companion with whom to unite in Christ and form the three-strand cord, but I do have friends. Check back through my posts, and you'll find one on loneliness. I went through a brief period of feeling totally disconnected from others, and had to realize what was happening and take charge of what I was (or, in this case, wasn't) doing.

I am now working hard to build relationships with friends, and in the process I am finding that my good friends can step in and be another strand in the cord of my life - not one of them for all things, but a "network of shared responsibility" that God is building around me. I just have to remember that I am the initiator of contact for the network - I have to keep building the relationships that form it. So I am.

If you're not a single parent, then you probably don't understand how difficult this road is to travel. I know that I was clueless before - I thought I could imagine it, but I was so wrong. That road is made more difficult by the very commitment to be a good parent - those responsibilities make it harder to find the time to develop the "network" I mentioned above. It's taken me almost 18 months just to realize some of the things I need, and to diligently pursue them.

I've shifted the focus here a bit, and maybe muddied the water, so let me summarize what I hope you're getting out of this. For one, God is awesome. He has and will continue to take great care of me, and I thank Him for all He has done. He has made me glad!

For another, if you're in my network - be it in what you think of as a "small" or "large" role, I pray that He blesses you 100-fold for the blessing you are to me. I might be able to survive without my network, but having it is allowing me to thrive, not just survive. I look forward to continuing to build our friendships.

And finally, on a bit of a tangent, if you know a single parent (and I think almost everyone does), prayerfully consider making time in your schedule to get to know them better. All you have to do is give an invitation and open yourself to having another friend. Who knows, God may be able to use you in their network, and that is Kingdom work for sure.