Two more days, and songs that make me cry

It seems strange, two days passing with nothing really hitting me to post about. I had some good times, and some sad times. I had some successes and some failures. But nothing really jumped into my head and said “you should post this – people would care about this.” But things have continued forward in the Click household…

I had lunch with my parents on Monday, and chose a grave marker for Michell. That was strange. There weren’t many options, and yet it seems so important to choose the right thing. The right thing for me, I guess, though I tried to choose what I thought Michell would have liked. Not a major decision, but its made. Right now, going to the gravesite doesn’t do anything for me. I know Michell’s body is buried there, but it’s just an empty shell – she isn’t there. Things may change over time, maybe in the future I will feel closer to her there, but not now.

On a positive note, Zoe seems to be past all her sickness, and is doing much better, including sleeping better. For the past two nights, I have not had to go into her room from bedtime to about 6:30 AM. Last night she fussed a couple of times, but never for more than a minute or two. The night before, she slept through without even fussing enough to wake me up. Consequently, I’m more rested than I have been in a while.

On the sad side, yesterday was a “sad song” day. There were several instances when I would hear a song on the radio, and the words would strike a chord or bring up a memory and I would cry. I remember two in particular…

There’s a new song out by Britt Nicole, “Don’t Worry Now” (video, lyrics), that talks about a young girl whose father dies. Toward the end, the song says:

It's taken so long to let this go, It's taken so long to feel that
You’re right here next to me, And I can finally breathe
It's taken so long but now I know, I had to find out on my own

And I know, and hate, that it is going to take so long to get through this.

There’s also a song out by Steven Curtis Chapman, “Cinderella” (video and lyrics), that got to me even before Michell died, because it’s about the daddy-daughter relationship. When I heard it yesterday, all I could think about was the things Michell was going to miss – and that the girls were going to miss because she’s gone.

While writing this, searching for the video and lyrics, I can’t help but cry again. I miss my Cinderella. There were supposed to be more songs for us.

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Michell's midnight came far too soon.